Editorial
Written byMen's Health Istanbul Editorial Team
Medical reviewNot required: this piece gives no medical advice
Published
Updated
The short answer
Men often delay seeing a urologist because the problems involved feel private: sex, urination, the genitals. Common reasons include embarrassment, worry about an intimate examination, fear of what might be found, the hope that symptoms will settle, a sense that seeking help is not very masculine, and simply not knowing what a urologist does. Delay can mean living longer with problems that are often treatable, and occasionally missing something that needs attention. A first appointment is mostly a conversation, and urologists discuss these subjects every working day.
Key takeaways
- The most common reasons for delay are embarrassment, fear and the hope that things will go away on their own.
- Urologists talk about erections, urination and genitals every day; nothing you describe will surprise them.
- A first appointment is mostly a conversation, and any examination is explained and agreed first.
- Writing your symptoms down beforehand makes the conversation much easier.
Why do men put off going to the doctor?
Ask a room of men why they have not mentioned a problem to a doctor and the answers tend to sound the same. "It's probably nothing." "I've been too busy." "I didn't want to make a fuss." When the problem involves erections, urination or the genitals, a few more reasons join the list.
None of them is silly. But it helps to look at each one plainly, because most rest on assumptions that do not hold up.
Is it embarrassing to see a urologist?
It can feel that way beforehand. Talking about a weak erection or leaking urine with a stranger is not something most men practise. The reality is that urologists discuss these subjects all day, every day. To them, a question about erections is as ordinary as a question about knee pain is to an orthopaedic surgeon.
The World Health Organization describes sexual health as part of overall physical, emotional and social well-being. Seen that way, raising a sexual problem is not an overshare. It is a normal part of looking after your health.
Will I have to have an intimate examination?
Worry about being examined, particularly a prostate check through the back passage, keeps many men away. In practice, not every visit involves an examination. When one is useful, the doctor explains why, what it involves and asks for your agreement first. It is brief, and you can ask questions or ask to stop.
What if they find something serious?
Fear of a diagnosis is one of the strongest reasons for delay, and one of the most self-defeating. Many urinary and sexual symptoms turn out to have common causes that can be managed. When something more serious is found, it is usually easier to deal with sooner rather than later. Not knowing rarely makes a problem smaller; it only makes the worry last longer.
Will it just go away on its own?
Sometimes symptoms do settle. But many urological problems develop slowly, and men adapt to them without noticing: planning journeys around toilets, avoiding intimacy, or quietly accepting a change as "just age". A conversation with a doctor can separate what is normal from what is treatable.
Is asking for help a sign of weakness?
Many men grew up with the idea that coping alone is the strong thing to do. Applied to health, that instinct works against you. Dealing with a problem early, on your own terms, is the more practical choice. It also tends to make life easier for partners, who often notice changes and worry about them too.
What happens at a first urology appointment?
Most of a first visit is talking. You will usually be asked about your symptoms, how long they have been going on, your general health, medicines and lifestyle. For urinary symptoms, you may be given a short questionnaire and asked for a urine sample. Tests and any examination come afterwards, once they have been explained.
A few things make it easier:
- write down your symptoms and when they started;
- bring a list of your medicines and supplements;
- note the questions you want answered, including the awkward ones.
What to take away
The reasons men wait are human and understandable, but the wait itself rarely helps. If something has changed and it is bothering you, that is reason enough to ask. Our overview of male sexual health is a good starting point if you are not sure where your symptoms fit.
Questions men also ask
What does a urologist treat?
Urologists look after the kidneys, bladder, urethra and, in men, the prostate, testicles and penis. Many also treat sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction; those who specialise in male sexual and reproductive health are often called andrologists.
Can I bring my partner to the appointment?
Yes, if you would like to. Some men find it helpful, especially for sexual problems that affect both people. You can also ask to speak to the doctor alone for part of the visit.
Sources & further reading
- WHO Sexual health (opens in a new tab) (2024) World Health Organization
- EAU EAU Guidelines on Management of Non-neurogenic Male Lower Urinary Tract Symptoms (LUTS) (opens in a new tab) (2024) European Association of Urology
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This article is general health information. It does not replace an individual medical consultation, examination or diagnosis. Read our editorial policy and medical review policy.
